You finally go see Juno, which you’ve been wanting to see for ages, and you nearly become unhinged when the dude sitting in the row behind you says (in a normal talking voice) “worst movie ever “—during the final scene.
Like literally unhinged. Okay, not literally, cuz I do not as yet come equipped with hinges, [...]

To explain why his current existential crisis is such a … well … crisis, my friend says:
This isn’t me. I’m not one to think about things or be introspective. I’ve never been this way. I just live my life.
You don’t get it. You’ve always been fucked up.
Oh, yeaaaahhhhh.

According to one friend, 2008 is going to be the year of Kiki. My year.
I do not exaggerate when I say, so far, this simply is not so. (See what I did there? I said I’m not going to exaggerate, then I didn’t actually exaggerate. Even in the depths of self-pity, I’m goooood.)
Anyway, [...]