I know some of my posts lately have seemed a little … man-hating. (Can I say one thing? You know something isn’t much of a problem when there isn’t even a Latin-derived word for it. Misphallony. There. I said it.) Anyway, that’s *totally* untrue. I love men. Not all men, sure. But men as a concept? Love ’em. Select, highly refined men? Hells, yeah.
In fact, after an exhaustive search (think “every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse”), I’ve gotten myself a boyfriend NOT made of an amazing space-age material (which happens to feel very much like human skin, by the way). Now, you _know_ I don’t like to brag, but this male humanoid is pretty rad. He’s met the incredible peeing dogs. He’s read the blog. He’s even seen the sex tape I made with Screech from Saved by the Bell back in the day. Still, he agrees to be seen with me in public on a fairly regular basis. He’s cool like that.
So, if posts are a little hit or miss for a while, it’s because we’re busy doing all that raunchy, new relationship stuff you’d expect. I mean, okay, you’ve come to rely on CMG Unite to push the envelope, but nobody wants to read filth like … like two people having brunch, going to see Iron Man or *gasp* meeting each other’s friends.
Don’t worry, my pets. I’ll be back … once we move beyond the freaky shit and return to more normal things like fisting and anal sex.
okay, yes i’m a lil tipsy, but your last line made me laff and laff. (okay, same is happening with the simpsons speed-dating episode. have you SEEN that? HAA!)
anyway, can’t wait to see you (+friend) for more fancy martinis. hee.
Oh, yes, I cannot wait until we return to the little brother loves hearing about it subjects fisting, anal sex, gagballing, pony play, ect.
BTW, what the fuck is up with pony play anyway. I mean, dressing up in expensive, ornate carriage pulling gear and, well, pulling a carriage around a well manicured lawn. I am as into pole playing and experimenting with fetishes as the next guy, but, that just seems boring. Maybe it is funny to watch?
I hope you allow HTML tags.
Also, it’s really run to think about you and your new man/my old friend…um…doin stuff.
Damnit…No HTML tags allowed, well here is a ling:
http://images.tribe.net/tribe/upload/photo/5b1/41c/5b141cb6-da50-4eb6-92ce-dccdd94bde6b
I made Em Em laff (and laff) AND creeped out my little brother in one fell swoop.
GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!
It seems to me that fisting and anal are a step up from the Dustin Diamond sex video given Screech’s predilection for the Dirty Sanchez. But I like to refer to menstrual cunilingus as “finger painting” so maybe my thoughts on the subject should be considered dubious at best.
I must be feeling my (old) bones because I’m gonna opt out of this particular conversational thread.
Chris,
You realize that by opting out vocally, or rather textually, you are opting into it, albeit in a minimal role?
:)
Some people use a razor. I use a moist towel.