[12:37] Kiki: i finally responded to ur comment this morning
[12:37] Thor: way to be timely
[12:38] Thor: because i care!
[12:38] Kiki: aw … dang
[12:38] Kiki: way to take the wind out of my sails, man
[12:38] Kiki: so why do u look offline?
[12:39] Thor: cuz with meebo i don’t know how to hide and i got this crazy bitch on my jock
[12:39] Kiki: haha
[12:39] Kiki: yeah, that’s why i don’t love yahoo … it’s harder to block people
[12:40] Thor: too many crazys
[12:40] Kiki: hee
[12:40] Thor: it doens’t pay to be good in bed does it?
[12:40] Kiki: no, it does not
[12:41] Thor: just can’t keep them away if you need to after
[12:41] Kiki: lol
[12:41] Thor: probably worse for women
[12:41] Kiki: it’s like having too much money or those other terrible afflictions
[12:41] Thor: ya, seriously!
[12:42] Kiki: well, it’s better and it’s worse for women
[12:42] Kiki: men, in general, don’t get as crazy … at least not the ones i go for … so u don’t get that flash psychosis
[12:42] Kiki: but they hang on for-fucking-ever
[12:42] Thor: great, isn’t it
[12:43] Kiki: like in bed with a bf and u get a text at 3 am … who’s that honey? oh, some guy i fucked ONCE five years ago … still thinks he’s got a shot
[12:45] Kiki: so how’s tricks otherwise?
[12:45] Thor: besides crazy watertown girl …
[12:45] Kiki: wait … wait
[12:45] Kiki: yeah, let’s back up
[12:45] Thor: k
[12:45] Kiki: what does she do when she catches u online?
[12:45] Kiki: i mean, how does the convo go?
[12:46] Thor: messages me right away, and f-ing calls me hun … argh!
[12:46] Kiki: gack
[12:46] Kiki: i hate that
[12:46] Kiki: then does she say she wants to get together?
[12:47] Kiki: or does she try to get u to say? what’s her game?
[12:47] Thor: i took her to that bruins game, right?
[12:47] Kiki: k
[12:47] Thor: then afterwards i knew there would be no after, so i told her i was going on vaca for 2 weeks
[12:48] Thor: couple of texts here and there, not too bad
[12:48] Thor: i get back and the e-mails start going again
[12:48] Kiki: ok, wait
[12:48] Kiki: how did u know there would be no after?
[12:48] Thor: i knew after meeting her it would be a one-time thing
[12:49] Kiki: i KNOW what u meant
[12:49] Kiki: i wanna know *why*
[12:49] Kiki: lol
[12:49] Kiki: dork
[12:49] Thor: she didn’t live up to her pics
[12:49] Kiki: ah, ok
[12:49] Thor: bad boston accent
[12:49] Kiki: eh … yeah
[12:49] Thor: moved back home to save money to fix her car
[12:49] Kiki: LOL
[12:49] Thor: 2 YEARS AGO!!!!
[12:50] Kiki: and is still there?
[12:50] Thor: yup
[12:50] Kiki: how old?
[12:50] Thor: 30
[12:50] Kiki: doh
[12:50] Thor: anyway, she talked a good game
[12:50] Kiki: right
[12:50] Thor: so I gave her a shot, so to speak
[12:51] Kiki: was she at least good in bed?
[12:52] Thor: she was fine, but she was really loose, to be quite frank
[12:53] Kiki: metaphorically or … literally?
[12:53] Thor: literally
[12:53] Kiki: haha
[12:53] Thor: sorry
[12:54] Thor: not that she is a bad person or anything, i just wish she would F someone else soon so she gets off my back
[12:54] Kiki: so a couple of texts while u were “on vacation”?
[12:54] Kiki: then when u “got back” the e-mails and aggressive IMing started?
[12:54] Thor: totally!
[12:54] Kiki: guh
[12:54] Kiki: well, it’s not a matter of fucking someone new … she has to find a comparable fuck
[12:55] Kiki: which is where the whole dilemma of being good in bed comes in
[12:55] Thor: i like to think i am, and if this is what happens, i’ll fake it for the love if i have to!
[12:56] Kiki: huh whah?
[12:57] Thor: if being good has it’s price, maybe i should try not to be as good
[12:57] Kiki: oh, i see
[12:57] Kiki: can one dumb it down, so to speak?
[12:57] Thor: absolutely!
[12:57] Kiki: see this is one area where it’s much easier for a woman
[12:58] Kiki: we can always just lie there :-)
[12:58] Thor: way easier!!!!!
[12:58] Thor: we can do it, we just have to be more creative
[12:58] Thor: let’s say you get a little case of whiskey dick, right?
[12:59] Kiki: ok
[12:59] Thor: you meet this girl, she’s ok
[12:59] Thor: bring her home
[12:59] Thor: get it on
[12:59] Kiki: mhmm
[12:59] Thor: and, you know, 40 minutes into it she is asking are you almost done?
[12:59] Kiki: haha
[12:59] Thor: then you make it look like you are done
[12:59] Thor: everyone is happy
[1:00] Kiki: how do u “make it look like u are done”?
[1:00] Thor: it’s fairly easy with a condom on
[1:00] Kiki: noooooooo
[1:00] Kiki: i can’t believe a woman would fall for a fake
[1:01] Thor: oh ya
[1:01] Kiki: i mean, with men it’s easy cuz they WANT to believe
[1:01] Thor: no, i know we all want to think we give you guys one every time, if not 6
[1:01] Kiki: hehe
[1:01] Thor: or 7
[1:02] Kiki: so u don’t think i could tell the diff?
[1:02] Thor: if it goes on too long and the girl starts to get sore, then you need to do something
[1:03] Thor: if i was with a new person, 80% chance i wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a real and a fake
[1:03] Kiki: ok, but it’s harder for a guy to fake … i mean we can feel it
[1:04] Thor: no, i know. there are muscles down there, we can make it feel like it’s happening
[1:04] Kiki: aaahhhhhhhh
[1:04] Kiki: u crafty little fucker
[1:05] Kiki: (no pun intended)
[1:05] Thor: hehe
[1:05] Kiki: yeah, i had this bf in high school who loved to show me how he could flop his around with these muscles
[1:05] Thor: same thing!
[1:05] Kiki: i never realized they could be used for more nefarious purposes
[1:06] Thor: like hammering nails?
[1:06] Kiki: LOL
[1:07] Thor: there was this one time …
[1:07] Kiki: yes
[1:07] Thor: i was living in brighton and i met this girl at the last drop
[1:08] Thor: so we go to mine for a night cap
[1:08] Thor: we are doing our thing and it became apparent to me i was not going to finish, k
[1:08] Kiki: ok
[1:09] Thor: so we were doggie and she is begging for me to cum on her ass, right?
[1:09] Kiki: k
[1:09] Thor: so i pulled it out, took off the rubber and spit on her ass!
[1:10] Kiki: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
[1:10] Thor: then wiped it up real quick
[1:10] Thor: so she didn’t know
[1:10] Kiki: that’s the funniest thing i’ve heard in a long, long time
[1:10] Thor: she f-ing loved it!
[1:10] Thor: i was so nervous i would be caught!
[1:11] Kiki: but seriously, dude, if that were me and i caught a guy doing that, i’d be kinda flattered that he cared enough to fake it so … thoroughly
[1:12] Thor: as far as i know she never knew!
[1:12] Kiki: ur priceless, man