I swiped this survey from MySpace. It seemed pleasantly random and not utterly inane, so here goes.

My Autobiography … The Monarch Notes

Prologue

Where did you take your default (MySpace profile) picture?  my bedroom

What exactly are you wearing right now?  white t-shirt, red BC slacker pants, and my new flips (with massaging fingers)

What is your current problem?  I am one with the me. I am at peace with the me, who is on this adventure.

What makes you most happy?  when someone gets me, when the people I love are happy

If you could go back in time and change something would you?  there are a few haircuts I would seriously rethink

Ever had a near death experience?  Been in a few tight spots. Never been called to the white light.

Name something obvious about you.  I’m brilliant and sophisticated. I mean, like, duh.

Name a song you’re listening to. “How Soon Is Now,” Love Spit Love

Any celeb you would marry? ∗shiver∗

Name someone with the same birthday as you. Robert Plant and the Vietnamese kid from The Goonies

Do you have a crush on someone?  I’m pretty sure I declared my undying love for someone Saturday night. I do that sometimes.

Ever sang in front of a large audience?  hmm … define “large”

What do you usually order from Starbucks?  large sweetened black iced tea

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?  yah

Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows?  I just caught Little Vampire last weekend. Richard Grant is pure genius.

Do you speak any other languages?  shway arabay

What magazines do you read?  Scientific American Mind, The Sun, Harpers, Yoga International, Wired

Have you ever ridden in a Hummer limo?  um, neuw

Has anyone you’ve been really close with passed away?  yeah

Do you ever watch MTV?  Date My Mom, baby

What’s something that really annoys you? insincerity and Tom Hanks movies ∗argh∗

Chapter 1

Middle name:  Kara

Nickname(s):  K, KK

Current location:  my living room

Eye color:  blue

Chapter 2

Do you live with your parents?  neuw

Do you get along with your parents?  yeah

Are your parents married/separated/divorced?  divorced

Do you have any siblings?  3 brothers and a sister

Chapter 3: Favorites

Ice cream flavor? Belgian chocolate

Shampoo/conditioner? Kiss My Face/Kiss My Face

Chapter 4: Do you …

Sing in the shower?  rarely

Write on your hand?  not since junior high

Call people back? eventually

Believe in love?  see above

Sleep on a certain side of the bed? the side farthest from the door … currently, the left

Wear glasses or contacts?  nope

Have any bad habits?  Nah, I’m kinda perfect.

Chapter 5: Have you ever …

Worn braces?  yah

Broken a bone?  no

Had stitches?  yah

Taken painkillers?  not recreationally, if that’s what ya mean

Gone SCUBA diving?  no

Been stung by a bee?  yah

Slept with your contacts in overnight?  na

Thrown up in a restaurant?  neuw

Been to overnight camp?  yah … suckage

Sworn in front of your parents?  hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha … oh, you’re serious?

Had detention?  hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha … oh, you’re serious?

Been called a ho?  No, but I was called a pantless American once. That’s worse, I presume.

Been called a stank-ass mongoloid elf-tit lookin’ sonofabitch?  Uh, no. Elf-tit? Hmm.

Chaper 6: Who/what was the last …

Person to text you?  Josh

What did it say? “hey i just emailed u”

Person to call you?  my ex

Person you hugged?  Bob

Person you tackled?  Jenny Morgan, ninth-grade powder puff football

Thing you touched?  my cell

Thing you ate?  cheese omelette

Thing you drank?  iced tea

Thing you said?  “Bless you.”