Okay, okay … I admit it. I was (mostly) joking about my iPod trying to send me messages. Sometimes I milk a fleeting thought for twisted comic purposes I myself only dimly understand. Still, I can’t ignore the fact that some weird shit has been happening to me lately.
In the latest installment from the mixed-up files of Ms. Monkey-Gurl, my high school boyfriend, Seth, joined Facebook recently. I wouldn’t call it reconnecting, exactly. We hang out every once in a while, send each other birthday texts and so on, but it had been long enough since we spoke that the friend request seemed kind of random.
Anyway, we’ve been messaging back and forth the last couple of days. He asked if I was still single. I asked if he was still into dudes. (Yeah, we didn’t really have a prayer.) He teased me about being too old for Facebook. I posted a picture of him I knew he hated. We made plans to get together for drinks. It was all very usual, very ordinary.
Then this morning, I got a text from him:
Is it possible I saw you walking down Summer Street yesterday?
Fuck it if he didn’t see me out on my run last night. Of all the gin joints … seriously.
It weren’t no accident that Ingrid walked into Humphrey’s gin joint… Sis, how many of your stalker-suitors am I going to have to threaten?
Oh, dang, you’re right. That Ingrid was a wily one. But surely we don’t have to worry about the gay exes too, do we? Sheesh.
Ahh, if only all the men who reject me turned out to be gay. *sigh*
[...] finally managed to grab drinks with “Seth” the other day. Remember him? First love, high school sweetheart, happens also to now be gay. (Okay, he was probably gay in high school too, but neither of US knew [...]