I know this will come as a huge shock to you … me being such a social joiner and all, but I’m not really a fan of the many beloved St. Patrick’s Day rituals. Waiting outside in the bitter cold to get into a crowded dive bar, wearing “Kiss me, I’m Irish” flair and barfing green beer are strictly amateur night. If St. Paddy’s Day had a slogan, it would be “I’m not an alcoholic, but that won’t stop me from drinking like one.”
When I was out earlier, though, I saw something that made me kinda wish I wasn’t such a scrooge.

Karaoke and limericks? Word. That’s How I McRoll

I’m a fan of laments myself.
( ♫ repeat chorus 3x ♫ )
Yea I got somethin I’ll repeat for ya three times. Yes, you may have another.