Strangely, being featured in my blog has become something of a bloodsport amongst my friends … okay, *one* friend. She’s kind of pathological about it, frankly. Some shit about a test of my deep and abiding love for her.

Ordinarily, this is the part where I would say that it’s beyond pathetic to yearn for notoriety of this meager and perverted sort, but I’m sure she’s going to send this post to everyone she knows … soooo, instead, I will tell you of how immensely flattered I am to be courted in this way.

[14:35] Mimi: okay, now i want to go for a drink with you
[14:35] Mimi: : )
[14:36] Kiki: i’m leaving here in an hour so
[14:36] Mimi: oh, wait. yes, i forgot you said you were going home first anyway. are you sure you will feel like going back out to meet me?
[14:36] Kiki: yeah
[14:40] Mimi: don’t go lying to get out of coming
[14:40] Kiki: i’m the one who suggested it, dipshit
[14:41] Kiki: you’re losing it
[14:41] Mimi: i have never seen dipshit in writing … interesting
[14:41] Kiki: LOL
[14:41] Mimi: i am
[14:41] Mimi: indeed
[14:41] Kiki: i can’t picture you saying ‘indeed’
[14:41] Kiki: do you ever *say* that word?
[14:42] Mimi: still not blog quality stuff tho
[14:42] Kiki: oh, god
[14:42] Kiki: here we go again
[14:42] Kiki: i may blog this just to shut you the fuck up
[14:42] Kiki: you wanna know why i don’t blog you? it’s because we don’t have a good pseudonym for you
[14:42] Kiki: THAT is why
[14:43] Mimi: oh please
[14:43] Kiki: so on the blog, from now on, you’re _____ … i don’t care what you say
[14:43] Kiki: so don’t even try
[14:43] Mimi: no you cannot
[14:43] Kiki: i SAID don’t try
[14:43] Mimi: wanna know why?
[14:43] Kiki: you already told me
[14:44] Kiki: and i don’t care
[14:44] Mimi: because _____ out loud sounds like _____ which means penis in [my mother tongue]
[14:44] Mimi: i told you this before?
[14:44] Kiki: this ain’t that place where they wear scarves when it’s 75 degrees and don’t like ice in cold drinks
[14:44] Kiki: this is AMERICA goddammit
[14:44] Kiki: and you’re _____
[14:44] Kiki: period
[14:44] Kiki: end of story
[14:44] Kiki: now shut up
[14:45] Mimi: dude
[14:45] Mimi: you just made me cry
[14:45] Mimi: CRY
[14:46] Kiki: no
[14:46] Kiki: really?
[14:46] Mimi: yes, really
[14:46] Kiki: : (
[14:46] Mimi: i can’t be _____
[14:46] Kiki: omG
[14:46] Kiki: i’m sorry
[14:46] Kiki: ok ok
[14:47] Kiki: you win
[14:47] Kiki: are you still crying?
[14:47] Mimi: and i only have one tissue left
[14:47] Mimi: better now
[14:48] Mimi: The Boss came up and ask what was wrong
[14:48] Kiki: shit, dude
[14:48] Kiki: i was just playin
[14:48] Mimi: you can’t toy with my feelings like that
[14:48] Mimi: you should know the stress i am under
[14:48] Kiki: you’re making me feel awful
[14:49] Kiki: i know, but i didn’t know it was possible to make you cry
[14:49] Kiki: i wasn’t trying or anything
[14:49] Kiki: i’m sorry
[14:49] Mimi: i didn’t know either
[14:49] Kiki: btw, if you’re fucking with me, i WILL kill you later
[14:49] Kiki: : )
[14:49] Mimi: shit, when will that be exactly?
[14:49] Kiki: rofl
[14:49] Kiki: (can i blog this?)

Turns out, she WAS fucking with me. Mimi has, as I suspected, tiny balls of lead where her tear ducts should be.