• If one (me) lies perfectly motionless in a warm, darkened room for long enough, one (again, that would be me) will eventually fall asleep.
• That will happen precisely 20 minutes before one’s alarm is set to go off.
• The ankles and labia were never intended to become intimately acquainted with a razor … even one with so-called extra moisturizing strips.

Now, for god’s sake, stop acting like this blog is anything but highly educational.