Dear Reader,

I have not forgotten about my beloved blog or, by extension, you. That being said, it is sometimes the unfortunate fate of those who have a dearth of worthwhile things to do a deep and abiding commitment to the art of blogging for a flurry of worthwhile things to present themselves within a matter of a few short weeks … and for those weeks to fall right before “the holidays.” I am, of course, speaking hypothetically. I know no one personally who either has a dearth of worthwhile things to do or is possessed of a deep and abiding commitment to … well, anything.

Hmm. Where was I going with this? Oh, yes. I was going to try to placate you with some high-quality filler content, so you don’t abandon me CMG Unite. We’ve finally gotten readership and feed subscriptions up to a level that isn’t altogether embarrassing. I’d hate for us to lose ground when I’m still so enamored with you.

Anyway, as you know, I have a tendency to become preoccupied with the ins and outs of dating and male–female relations. This is not only because I am (perpetually) single, though there is that. For whatever reason, I just find this topic to be endlessly fascinating, and I can talk about it long after my friends’ eyes have glazed over and tiny threads of spittle have begun to dangle from the corners of their mouths. I read about it a lot too, and I’ve found a couple of things recently that I’ve been wanting to blog properly. For now, links and some snarky comments will simply have to suffice.

All the love I have in my heart,
Ms. Monkey-Gurl

Smart Women Are Scary
Um, duh. I read somewhere at some time in the not-too-distant past that for every 10 points above the norm a woman’s IQ is, her odds of finding a mate go down 10 percent. Okay, I’m pretty much making up the numbers, but you get the idea. As an astoundingly smart woman, did I find that the teensiest bit depressing, you ask? Nah. By my calculations, it’s a statistical anomaly that I found one mate, so I’m ahead of the game. Or, as a woman said to me not too long after my divorce, “At least you can say you were married once.” I leave it to you, fair reader, to guestimate that woman’s IQ relative to the norm and to determine just *how* flattering my calculations are to my own intelligence.

What a Girl’s OS Says about Her
I know, as a feminist, I’m supposed to balk at men’s efforts to fit us into little 2D boxes … you know, the Spice Girl method of understanding women. However, I find attempts of this nature not without humor … and pathos. Typically, they are also terribly revealing of the male psyche. To wit, no mention is made in this … um, article of women who use more than one OS. I mean, sure, like what are the, like, chances of a chick like that?!? A girl who knows her way around a box of wires and circuits? Hehe. Duuuuude. Good one.