I know you all wonder what the hell it is that I do with myself when I’m not living through/writing about the experiences that turn into posts here on the blog. Thus far, I’ve kept all that shrouded in mystery for various reasons. No more! I’m ready to bare my soul.

Just after posting the last one earlier today, I was thinking something along the lines of:

That Eddie Murphy sure looked good back in the day.
Mmm hmm. I wonder when that song came out.

I don’t think I need to tell you what happened next. (Hint: Wikipedia.)

The wiki entry for Eddie Murphy is less interesting than you might imagine. Unless, of course, you are not me, in which case you might imagine the wiki entry for Eddie Murphy would be about as good as … I dunno … Vampire in Brooklyn. It did get me to thinking, though, about life. Haha. I mean, life as summed up in a wiki entry table of contents. Eddie’s looks like this, for example:

• 1   Biography
  • 1.1   Early life
  • 1.2   Stand-up comedy routines
  • 1.3   Saturday Night Live
  • 1.4   Early acting career
  • 1.5   Singing career
  • 1.6   Legal woes
  • 1.7   Career slump
  • 1.8   Comeback and image makeover
  • 1.9   Personal life
  • 1.10   Charitable work
• 2   Awards/nominations
• 3   Filmography
  • 3.1   Television
  • 3.2   Movies
• 4   Films
  • 4.1   Salary
• 5   Discography
  • 5.1   Albums
  • 5.2   Singles
• 6   References
• 7   External links

“Legal woes,” “Career slump” and “Charitable work” struck me as the funniest. But I began to wonder what my wiki entry TOC would look like. Would mine be any better?

• 1   Biography
  • 1.1   Early life
  • 1.2   The marching band years
  • 1.3   Getting an AB in English without ever reading Dostoyevsky
  • 1.4   Crappy, underpaying job number 1
  • 1.5   Legal woes
  • 1.6   Crappy, underpaying job number 2
  • 1.7   Crappy, underpaying job number 3
  • 1.8   Crappy, moderately paying job number 1
  • 1.9   The move to Boston
  • 1.10   Indescribably sucky, well-paying job number 1
  • 1.11   Career slump
  • 1.12   Comeback and image makeover
  • 1.13   Personal life CENSORED for questionable content
• 2   Awards/nominations (imaginary ones DO TOO count)
• 3   Films CENSORED for questionable content
• 4   References
• 5   External links

Dayum, that’s grim. Excuse me while I go plot my comeback and image makeover.