I can’t believe I forgot to tell you! This past weekend I spotted a famous celebrity at the beach. It was quite exciting for me, as my life is so seldom touched by fabulocity.

Who was this uberstar, you ask? None other than China’s biggest porn star. And I do mean biggest.

I screwed up the nerve to go and ask him for his autograph, but he insisted he didn’t know what I was talking about. He was all incognito and shit … undercover as a husband/father of two/kite flier extraordinaire. I realized maybe his wife didn’t know about his real profession, so I relented and left with only this picture to remind me of the special day.

If you bump into this man on the street, please don’t approach him or scream, “I LOVE YOUR WANG!” as he is deep in character. Outting him might jeopardize his future in the industry. We wouldn’t want that now would we?