Crazy Monkey Gurls Unite » Blog Archive » 5 Things You Won’t Hear Me Say in Relation to Online Dating

5 Things You Won’t Hear Me Say in Relation to Online Dating

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
I rarely act without considering my actions, and I don’t dabble in regret.
“Are there any nice guys left?”
I’m sure there are tons of you left … somebody’s got to marry all those girls who wear sweater sets, right? But, frankly, I don’t want you. Nice lacks imagination and conviction. Kind? Compassionate? Caring? Hit me up. Nice? Take that shit to the church bingo where it belongs.
“If we hit it off, we’ll have to make up a story of how we met.”
I don’t do things I’m ashamed of or hang with people who judge.
“I will not put out on the first or even third date.”
C’mon now. I’ve done it, and so have you. We’re all mature enough to know that, in the right circumstance, anything’s possible. Honestly, I’d love to meet a dude who’d make me want to put out on the first date. It’s been a while since I got the butterfly thing going on.
“I’m just a normal girl looking for the same.”
If you’re normal, within two standard deviations of the mean, or in any other way average, DO NOT come at me. I’m attracted to complex and expansive guys. In the words of the estimable Lloyd Dobler, I’m looking for a dare-to-be-great situation.

Posted in 5ives on 08 Jul 2007 |

on 09 Jul 2007 at 12:14 pm1Mister Craig

“Must like cats.”
on 09 Jul 2007 at 2:58 pm2Ms. Monkey-Gurl

Haha … no, but you might hear me say “must like elderly lesbian poodles.”
on 12 Jul 2007 at 8:24 pm3chico

MMMmmm…E.L.P., My fav.

So…ehm…
I do like bingo quite a lot- check

I am a little boring- check

I really enjoy a nice sweater set (preferably in pastels)- check

Not very imaginative (see this comment for an example of my minuscule amount of imagination)- check

What’s a conviction?- check I suppose

Awesome…I AM a nice guy…hit me up ladies…ohh yah!!
on 05 Nov 2007 at 9:40 pm4Crazy Monkey Gurls Unite » Suck it, dude. Totes.

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